Pinna: Pays a Visit.



Pinna.   Hello again.

Me.        Oh god, it’s you. I thought you had been caught or something.

Pinna.   Sorry to disappoint.

Me.        Ok, what’s the latest out there?

Pinna.   Well, you can have the story of the police chief who masturbates every day. Or the latest update from Untie’s flat.

Me.        You spend a lot of time there.

Pinna.   He leaves a lot of food out.

Me.        Did you say masturbates?

Pinna.   I did. He sits in a cubicle in the ladies toilet and waits for them to pee before he masturbates.

Me.        Has a wank, while they’re peeing?

Pinna.   Sorry, what’s that word?

Me.        Wank, its slang for masturbates.

Pinna.   Oh, that’s interesting. Yes, he does as you say. I can give you his rank and serial number if you wish. His work involves terrorism.

Me.        Wow! That lets me out. I want nothing to do with that fella. What about the other guy?

Pinna.   Untie? He’s been on the phone a lot inviting people I think to his flat for drinks.

Me.        People you think?

Pinna.   Yes. Tinker, Tailor, Sapper, Skiff and Scratch, he’s invited them for lots of                       drinks to his schadenfreude evening.

Me.        It’s just nicknames.  What’s that evening?

Pinna.   Schadenfreude, he called it. Look it up in your dictionary.

Me.        Don’t have one.

Pinna.   Goodness me. Try your computer.

Me.        Oh, here it is. Basically, laughing at others. Looking down on the plebs. Snobs!

Pinna.   Snobs, yes. If I could talk with them I would refresh their neurons with the knowledge that they do their ablutions like any other. He seems very pleased at manipulating the minds of the masses. So, they are celebrating with copious amounts of red wine and scotch.

Me.        You mean they pee and shit like the rest of us? And are having a piss-up?

Pinna.   I don’t know. What is that?

Me.        Aha! Aha, aha, I know something you don’t know. I’m dancing…

Pinna.   Oh, for goodness sake! Get with the programme. It’s called osmosis.

Me.        Whose Moses?

Pinna.   Give me strength! It’s a word which explains what they are doing. Look it up. Oh, I forgot you haven’t got a dictionary.

Me.        I’ve got it. No. Spell it.

Pinna.   O S M O S I S

Me.        It’s a bit like drip-feed.

Pinna.   Exactly! Good boy. No wonder your species rule the world.

Me.        You’re taking the piss again.

Pinna.   Sorry. However, they think, no believe that they are controlling events by dictating the thinking of both sides in the immigration argument, business and the Left in politics.

Me.        I’m lost.

Pinna.   Ok. Both, business and the Left, want migration/immigration for their own political reasons. The Left because they believe they can destroy the Conservatives over the long-term, and business because it suits their purpose.

Me.        And?

Pinna.   The Left have got it all wrong.

Me.        How? I…

Pinna.   There is no thought of the consequence on the poor. No realisation about the impact on housing, rent, (evictions are at an all-time high) waiting lists, jobs and wages. No thought of the knock on effect of the emotional trauma on family, individuals and community through an increase in tension and stress and, how all of that impacts on social cohesion. No thought but for their political agenda.

Me. Where do you dig up such crap?

Pinna.   I take it that you disagree with my analysis. What is ‘crap’?

Me.        It’s slang, never mind. We must have tolerance and show compassion. The bloody Tories won’t.

Pinna.   Oh boy, have you got it wrong. Did you know that the Conservative government has factored in a migrant/immigrant number of 180,000 + per year over the next five years?

Me.        No way! That’s bullshit! They want to stop it.

Pinna.   I’m afraid not, they anticipate a further one (1) million by the next election.

Me.        Bullshit! They wouldn’t do that. Why the hell would they do that?

Pinna.   It’s simple economics. Migration/immigration is the biggest subsidy that the government can give to business. Couple that with huge reductions in corporation tax and you see why business supports a Conservative government.

Me.        I can’t get my head around all that. Everything is just for big business?

Pinna.   Well yes, and the conservative party, they benefit too.

Me.        How the fuck…

Pinna.   It’s a gift to business as they get a steady stream of cheap labour which keeps wages low and no need to train locals thus profits are high. It also weakens the Trade Union movement and drains support from the Labour Party. The last election should have been what you term a ‘wake- up call’.

Me.        Nah! We have loads of thinkers on the Left, you know.

Pinna.   I know. I’ve come across a few, compiling their figures as to why migration is beneficial. They’re simply doing a business job for business.

Me.        Piss-off! I’m not having this.

Pinna.   You won’t be leaving a crust on the floor tonight?